Oh, how often to do we feel down in the dumps, like we've failed again and there is no hope? Well, I have been there many times too and I hope that some of what God has graciously taught me and continually teaches me will be an encouragement to you.
First, nothing surprises God! There is no sin you can commit that will WOW God. He has seen it all and He is a God of compassion and mercy and nothing is too terrible for you to talk to Him about. He is ready and willing to forgive you immeasurably and over and over again. Sometimes we go through life feeling that we are the only ones that yell and scream at the kids or feel hate towards our spouse or would rather be 6 feet under. Maybe our sin is much worse than that. Don't worry, God is not surprised or befuddled. He is willing and faithful to forgive us of all unrighteousness. All we must do is TELL Him and ask for His forgiveness and it is ours. Satan would LOVE for us to wallow and feel that we are unforgivable and if you are believing that then you are NORMAL. We all do it. It is the enemy's favorite lie to tell us. He loves that we feel we are the ONLY ones to commit a certain sin. He loves us to be down in the dumps. Well, don't stay there, my friend. It is completely unecessary. Whether it is something you did in the past, something you are afraid of in the future or simply that you are just not happy with the cards God has dealt you, just remember that you are not alone, you are totally normal and we all struggle in these areas. So, when you wonder why Christians are depressed, know that is mostly because we are believing a lie and not trusting that God REALLY does love and forgive us and has a plan all worked out for us. He wrote the story of our lives a long time ago and we can fully trust HIM!!!
Sometimes I freak out at my kids and feel like such a BIG loser of a mom. I feel unforgiveable. Then I remember that being faithful means regularly seeking forgiveness, it does not mean being perfect. That is just a silly lie we tend to beleive, all of us!
I also can easily find myself feeling sorry that I don't have more. I really have to work on realizing how much God has blessed me. I like to be grateful first thing EVERY day because I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, especially green smoothie food:) and a heater to keep my family warm! I have a husband who LOVES his wife and children and works hard, I have a supportive group of friends and family. Yes, maybe I can't even shop at Nordstrom Rack anymore, but really, God must laugh about that one. It is soooooooooooooo SILLY to feel I have to be perfectly in style or have new clothes all the time. It's my princess mentality that makes me feel I am so deserving of new things.
God is so kind b/c I am actually finding joy in looking for things on Craig's List, but mostly, life is much more simple when spending money is not really an option at all. Less decisions to make for sure! So, now I work on planning my garden, encouraging a friend or reading to my kids. It's really when life is simple that true joy can be saught. All that STUFF is just distracting. I love that God has brought me to the point where reading His Word and teaching it through circumstances to my kids has become a much higher priority than the latest pair of jeans!! He's so kind to teach us patiently. And what is so beautiful is that if He has given you the ability to shop, that is the gift He has for you right now and you do not have to feel a bit bad about it! He has us all exactly where He wants each of us so we can each learn the lessons we need to learn. I used to wonder why others had it "better" than me. Well, God's version of "better" is different than mine. He just has different lessons to teach each of us, so He has different gifts for each of us. I tell this to my kids all the time when they feel less smart or less fast or...? I tell them how boring life would be if we were all good at the same one thing. God has a different job for each of us and so He has given different gifts to each of us. One gift is never better than the other, it is just different and serves a different purpose.
I'll have to share my amazing list of all the free things God has provided us with. The latest being a laptop which I have prayed for for a year!
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